Ah…. the notion of finding your true soulmate and experiencing soulmate love. Almost everyone – men and women alike – have been raised on this romantic notion.
The golden slipper that fit only Cinderella’s delicate foot.
The damsel who would only awaken from her eternal slumber by the kiss of the handsome prince.
The famous line from the 1996 movie Jerry Maguire, where Tom Cruise says those three unforgettable words to Renée Zellweger: “You complete me.”
From fairy tales and pop culture alike, we’ve been taught that there is one perfect soulmate for each of us. And that if we’re beautiful enough, diligent enough, or just plain lucky, we’ll somehow find that person.
The idea of soulmate love may be delightfully romantic, but it’s not very actionable. Are we to scour the planet, searching for our soulmate? Or walk around every corner hoping to bump into “the one?”
Soulmate love absolutely exists, and when you find it, you’ll know for sure it’s the soulmate you’ve been searching for. But, unlike it’s depicted in movies, we don’t stumble into it by luck. These very special people come into our experience for unique and meaningful reasons. And once we are ready to receive the wisdom they have to bring us, our rendezvous with them will be unavoidable.
There are three primary components that define soulmate relationships and soulmatelove. Once you learn to recognize these, you’ll see that there is not one perfect person for you that you must find. Instead, you’ll realize there is the potential of finding perfection in every person you meet.
Soulmate Quality #1: Resonance
Resonance is defined as “the quality in a sound of being deep, full, and reverberating.”
Tsoulmates and soulmates exist in every walk of life – as intimate partners, friends, family members – even coworkers. Whatever form they take, a primary characteristic that defines these types of relationships is that of resonance.
You’ll feel a familiarity with this person, as if you’ve known them before. Maybe you’re on the same wavelength intellectually, or share the same sense of humor.
If it’s a romantic partner, you may feel that strong pull of sexual chemistry. Or, you could experience an entirely different type of attraction that is completely non-sexual in nature.
There’s just something about this person that draws you to them. You want to know them and be known by them. There is true resonance between you.
Soulmate Quality #2: Expansion
Soulmate relationships and soulmate love – whatever form they take – always serve as a catalyst for expansion. The initial resonance we feel when meeting these people draws us to them. But there is even a deeper purpose for connection that is revealed over time.
A soulmate or soulmate may enter our lives to enhance our spiritual growth. Some will reignite a long lost passion. Almost always, they will shake up the status quo. These people enter our lives to bring us some specific knowledge. They set us on a path of self-discovery.
A soulmate relationship may be long-term or fleeting, depending on whether we are here to learn the same things. If you are wildly drawn to one of these very special people and later grow apart, don’t worry. Be grateful for all they’ve taught you, and open to the possibility that you may, in fact, reunite. Life has a funny way of circling back around.
#3: Challenge
Soulmate love doesn’t unfold as it does in the movies, with the happy couple riding off into the sunset. Because these people are drawn into our lives to support our expansion, there will be many challenges along the way.
Remember, you are not the only one being called to grow and expand. Your presence in their life has also shaken up the status quo, and maybe even called into question their identity.
For the relationship to endure long-term, communication is essential. You may feel great when you’re with this person, but are your deeper values aligned? Do you want the same things out of life? Are you headed in the same general direction? How do your priorities match up?
The earlier you discover these things, the easier it will be to create a relationship with this person that fits.
Soulmate love is distinct from the kind of love we experience in any other relationship. It goes far beyond physical attraction or even mental affinity. When you encounter someone who meets these criteria, pay close attention. They have been brought into your life to fulfill a very unique and special purpose.
Christy Whitman is a transformational leader, celebrity coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. For more insights like these on how to create joyous, fulfilling relationships, join her on her Conscious, Connected Coupling Podcast.
