Hurt and resentment close the heart. Frederic and Christy talk about the right time to let go of both negativities and how to do it. They also share what happens if you open up your heart and release that caged animal out of you. As they discuss how the emotional and mental bodies are all connected, they also discuss how to get the energy out of the physical body to clear it and allow you to feel fresh and new. Christy then leads a short relaxation meditation for opening up the heart and identifying your set point, showing how meditation allows you to experience being free from hurt and resentment.
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Letting Go Of Hurt And Resentment
Do you want to release your old hurts and resentments? We’ve been talking about that a little bit. I’m going to do a process and Frederic’s going to sit with me and support me in this. We’ve talked a lot about in the past that things in your relationship, maybe situations and circumstances that you might be holding onto that are closing on your heart for your partner. Maybe places where you feel you can’t trust and there’s energy there that needs to be released and unless you release that energy, it’s like snakes and scorpions in your relationship. It’s very biting and it really does deteriorate the love that is in the relationships. It’s energy suckers that are taking up space and not allowing you to move into that fullness of who you are.
Let’s take a relationship out of it. If you’re holding on to resentments or hurts of any kind, anger, fear, guilt, shame and any lower level emotion that doesn’t feel good. If you’re holding onto that in any capacity and you don’t feel good in your body, it is why you are attracting the things that you don’t want in your life. This is Law of Attraction at its best. This is what my work has been about for the past several years. My own personal work for many years now is with the Seven Essential Laws and you cannot attract what you want and what you want to feel aligned with from a place of lack. Anytime you are in a place of anything less than satisfied, you have lower level emotions. The best place to be in any relationship, in your life, with money, with your boss, with your career, with your clients, with anything in your life is being in a place of satisfaction, feeling contentment, feeling that fulfillment of what is and growing that energy from there. Feeling more love, success, passion, freedom or any of those other things.
If you’re feeling anything less than satisfaction, you’re entering into the equation into your own manifestation, into your own life something that’s not what you want. You’re not going to get the results that you want. You can’t. Vibrationally, it’s too far of a jump. If you look at it from a spectrum, you’ve got lack, limitation or any of the emotions that we had mentioned, fear, resentment, hurt, all that stuff on one end. You can’t feel satisfied when you’re holding any of that energy. What happens with most people is a situation happens, maybe my husband said something, he does something or he doesn’t do something. He doesn’t do something fast enough or whatever the situation is. I feel betrayed because he chose his mom over me or he did something to upset the kids or whatever it is.
If I close my heart down at that moment and I don’t process the energy of it and let’s face it, most adults don’t have the emotional intelligence of how to be aware of what they’re feeling and know actually how to process it. You might be aware of hurt or I’m angry, but then how do you process it? Most of us out of self-protection, we close down our hearts and in closing down our hearts, what happens is you close down the energy doesn’t sit there. Energy is always moving. It needs to. That’s the nature of it. It moves in and out, up and down and in and through. It’s there. It’s like a block inside of your heart. Your heart is closed down around that.
It’s creating a vortex of energy. I like to think of it like a caged animal, a lion in a cage wanting to get out. It’s creating a vortex of energy and that vortex of energy is setting up energies to it through their thoughts or their feelings. All of a sudden, you start seeing evidence of this and you’re like, “He’s doing more things. I can’t trust him. He keeps saying these things or doing these things.” The point of attraction that you have is from this block and is from this energy that then becomes manifest in your life, but what happens if you opened up your heart? You released that caged animal out. You’ve released the energy out of it. You’re now free and clear. You don’t have a button anymore.
What that does is it takes you to open up your heart to let the energy release. What happens is from an energetic perspective, your emotional body, your mental body and your heart center are all connected. When you close down your heart center, you close down the possibility of a flow of love for higher emotions and also higher vibrational thoughts. It’s like you’re stuck in lower level motions and lower level feelings. That’s what hurts in resentments. You closed down your heart. You get into a place of, “I can’t trust him. He’s going to do it again. What if the other shoe drops? What if he does this?” The fear that all the mind chatter that can be in that protective mode and you’re not feeling anything. You’re still holding onto instead of processing and letting it out. The thing is it only takes about 90 seconds actually to process an emotion, which is the energy but you’re holding onto it causing havoc in what you’re doing. Don’t you think it’s time to let go of the hurts and resentments no matter what they are? I want to say this and I’d love to get your opinion before I do this process with everybody.
First of all, you gave the example of that energy is inside. How do you release it so that it doesn’t become a button? Can you release it totally, so it doesn’t become a button or will it be like an experience where it becomes less and less intense and then it’s released?
Yes, on both ends. Depending on how willing you are to open up your heart and really let it go, it becomes a completely different thing. I’m going to give an example of your mom. It’s not even with you and me. It’s between your mom and me because we’re talking about relationships. Relationship with his mother, my mother-in-law. If your relationship with your mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-law and brother-in-law is not a good one, it can affect the relationship. My relationship with my mother-in-law for years was bad. It was not good. It was very uncomfortable, especially for him because the two most important women in his life couldn’t basically be in the same room or get along with each other.
For me, there were years of different situations, very theatrical, dramatic things that happened where I could tell you the story. It’s one of those. It was easy for me to justify that I’m right and on her side, she could easily justify that I’m right or I was disrespectful. All her friends could say, “You’re right, Nicole. You’re absolutely right. She was wrong in doing that.” I could talk to all my friends and family, everybody would side with me and go, “That’s horrible. I can’t believe she said or did that.” At one point I remember sitting there. It was going to be one of our son’s birthday parties. I believe it was Maxim.
I was getting a pedicure and I was thinking about all the things that I had to do for the birthday party. I thought about her coming to the party and I immediately felt myself constrict. That was that emotional intelligence. I could feel that constriction. I went, “This is affecting me. I think of her and I think of the fact that I’m going to be seeing her and I would have to get prepared.” I’d have to get in protection mode. I went, “What if I let it all go? What if I let the history of all these things, all the hurts, all the resentment go?” I literally felt myself with shackles, letting the shackles go, letting all of it be the past and feeling all of that energy from the past letting go.
I was birthed into this new moment that this new moment I get to be fresh and new Christy and that I get to look at her, my mother-in-law, his mother with fresh new eyes. This was two days before the party. It was amazing. I literally opened the door and I was like, “Hi.” Everybody feels the energy. We’re connected energetically before anything. When I opened the door, it had already shifted between the two of us. We had a wonderful party and I remember at the end of the party, we had connected throughout the day. She’s next to me at the sink helping me. She had never done that before. She never helped me clean up or anything. She’s bringing things over to the counter and helping me with the dishes. I turned to her and I said, “Thank you so much for helping. I really appreciate your help.” She looked at me and she goes, “You’re welcome.” We hugged each other and there was a sense of connection and love at that moment. She yelled at her ex-husband, “Jimmy, get the camera.” It was like, “This is a monumental moment.”
I think that was the transformation moment for your relationship with her.
It absolutely was but it wasn’t that moment that transformed it. It was me doing the energy work of releasing it and that’s my point. If you want your relationship better and you’re holding on to anything of, “I can never accept that. I can never approve of that. I will never because I am justified.” You could be there but it’s not going to change the relationship that you have. My thing is I wanted my relationship to be better with my husband and I wanted our family gatherings to be fun and not have any type of tension or tightness in that space. I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable. I wanted him to feel like, “My mom and my wife get along.” Last time she came to town, she’s coming in town again, how do you feel about our relationship and your place in it?
There is no tension because I did my work too with her and showing up, not as the little boy with her but showing up as the man inside who has a family, who has responsibilities, who has boundaries and who is being respected by his mom. It’s a different relationship.
You had to show her how to treat you based on who you are now, not on who you used to be.
All that is there’s no tension. There are no awkward moments. Even the preparation of the meeting, for example, the anxiety of, “What do I need to do in order to make sure that everybody’s going to be happy in the room?” I don’t have that anymore. There’s none of that moment. It’s wonderful to see my relationship and it’s wonderful to see your relationship with my mother.
My point to all this, this is my relationship with my mother-in-law. I’ve also done this with my own mother. My relationship with my mother was not good. There were points where we would clash and I had to throw her out of my house one time because she was disrespectful. There are things along the way where I had to put up my boundaries but all along the way, I’ve had to do my resentment releasing and my forgiveness. Let’s do this to show you as a demonstration. You can go ahead and close your eyes or do it with your eyes open because energy can be released whether with your eyes open or closed. Feel anywhere inside of your body. Feel your body right now coming really into presence and feeling where in your body you have any tightness, constriction and tension. Imagine the light coming down through the top of your head, relaxing all of those areas.
If you’re having shoulder pain, for example, imagine that light, that energy is releasing that energy of that shoulder pain, the knee pain or the lower back pain. Imagine that this healing light, this love from your divine self, from all universal presence is coming in through the top of your head, releasing and relaxing all the different parts of your body. Imagine going into your heart center, putting your awareness into your heart center and seeing where your heart is closed down or in protective mode. Allow yourself to tell your heart to release, relax and open up.
You might find yourself sitting up a little bit straighter with your chest, your heart open to the sky, palms up, letting yourself receive even more expansion instead of constriction and opening up your heart. As you start to open up your heart, feel that energy starts to move out of it. You might have an awareness of energy going into your mind and bringing up certain thoughts. You might have energy going into your lower body and into your emotional body, making you aware of some feelings of hurts or resentments and allow yourself to go into your emotional body. Putting your awareness, putting all of your consciousness into your emotions as if you were going to take your pulse. Feel the pulsation that’s happening in your gut area. That is energy. These are emotions and they’re like keys on a piano for example. If you have certain notes that are fear and anger all the way up to joy, there is certain vibration that each emotion has.
As you start to feel the pulsation, maybe you’re angry and you might feel the intensity of this anger start to get more and more in intense. It’s like waiting in the ocean for a wave to come and suddenly, you have this big, huge wave and the wave starts to crest then it starts to dissipate. That is releasing the energy of it. Think about your partner and think about any place in your body, noticing if your heart started to close down, if you started to get some little bit of tension, if you had some emotions coming up. Think about your partner and with your partner present in front of you as a soul. Maybe not a personality at this point but as the soul self of who he or she is. Open yourself up, open your heart up and feel the shackles around your arms, around your wrists, around your legs and around your power center. All of that stuff from the past and you could even imagine you are cutting cords from the past. You’re taking scissors or using your hand to cut off these spaces where you’ve had all these resentments, cutting all those ties.
Cords are things that pull you down like anchors. The line of light coming from your heart center are areas where you get to feed the love in your relationship. Imagine cutting all those cords off of your relationship, cutting them out so that in your heart center, imagine a line of light coming from your heart center to his or her heart center. Feel the love coming back from their soul to your soul. Feel that energy exchange. Breathing in that love and working first at an energy level and any place you find that thought comes up like, “Yeah, but he did this.” Take that thought, put it in a bubble and let it go. Imagine erasing it on a chalkboard saying, “I forgive and I release.”
Coming back to your heart and feeding your heart center. If anything is pulling you back from the past, imagine cutting the cords. If there are emotions that need to be expressed, if you’re all of a sudden feeling this warmth of anger, resentment, frustration or hurt, go back into your belly and feel it like a pulse. Feel the pulsation and as you are experiencing the energy of it, not giving it a label, not giving it a story, not justifying it, feeling the actual emotion of it. It’s like turning on a faucet, letting the emotion, letting the energy of it pour out of your body.
Let the light come down through the top of your head, filling up the spaces of love, of light, filling up your body, relaxing your body, letting the energy come through your heart, going through to your partner. You might even imagine that there’s a golden ball of light that represents the universal life force energy above both of your heads and like a triangle of light. Imagine light coming down through your partners head like a line of light, going down through your head and in your heart centers exchanging beautiful energy in light. A beautiful triangle of light is being created between the three entities. Your God-selves, your higher selves, your divine selves and your soul selves. This will penetrate into your personalities. Allow yourself to take a deep breath in. Releasing your breath, taking a breath like that is always great for integration of new energy. Releasing the picture, wishing your partner well, releasing the picture of his or her soul, letting them go away, coming back to your own presence and power inside of yourself. Taking another deep breath in, feeling the integration, breathing out and allow yourself to return back into the room.
As you are moving about your day and you think of something else that comes out, if your eyes were closed and you didn’t see what I was doing, imagine cutting the cord. The Council of Light shares and I really truly believe this, and I’ve seen this for me as well is that we are obviously both physical beings. We can feel ourselves, taste, touch, smell and everything but yet we’re also nonphysical. We have to do things in our physicality to allow our energy to release. A lot of times, what was recommended to us and I’ve done these many times and we’ve even taken our kids outside and done this too, is if you have a lot of anger inside of you, my set point was anger. I was like a big anger bubble and anything he did or said or anybody else did or said was my defense mechanism. That was my go-to emotion. That was the only emotion I allowed myself to feel is anger. I would feel anger constantly. In order to release that set point of anger, that frustration, I took eggs.
What I would do is go out to a place. We live in Arizona, there’s a desert. There might be a forest. I would take all of my anger, I would put it into the egg, I would take that egg and I’d throw it as hard as I could. There’s something so physical, it’s like lifting weights, getting that energy out, getting it out of your physical body. This will help clear you energetically so that you can be fresh and new in this new moment because you were always in the process of becoming. You are different right now than you were ten seconds ago. You’re going to be different ten minutes from now than you were a year ago. You’re always in a state of becoming. You’re always in a state of evolving. You’re either growing or you’re shrinking and that’s really your choice and your own free will, so is your relationship. What you’re putting into your relationship, what you’re feeding it with. If you’re holding onto resentments, you’re holding and staying stuck in the past, not letting your partner grow into who he or she is becoming. Remember this moment with your breath. Take a deep breath in. That power is right here in the present moment and you are fresh and new. Your relationship, because you are fresh and new, it gets to be fresh and new. Do you have anything to say before we close up?
That was a wonderful meditation. If you feel that you want to have more of energy release with Christy and myself, go to ConnectedCoupling.com, fill out the form and we’ll be happy to get in touch with you.
The next episode is going to be on choices and options because you always have them and it takes you out of the drama triangle. See you next time.
